A year has gone...

Sedar tak sedar sudah setahun bah aku berada di Shah Alam a.k.a Semenanjung Malaysia. I officially arrived at this land on 31st March 2008 and start my working life on the 1st April 2008. Looking back there are so many experince that I need to thanks the Almighty.

I still remember last year how hard for me to came here. I almost reject this job and saying to myself "Biarlah aku dapat gaji kecik sekalipun yang penting aku tinggal di Sarawak". I don't understand and keep questioning Him with that stupid famous question, "Why?". I gave so many reason to my family why I shouldn't take this job but they never buy my bullshit. Worst came to worst Anddy also don't want to buy my bullshit. Akhirnya, aku terpaksa berserah walaupun dalam hati bukan senang nak menerima kenyataan. To make myself happy I told myself that I'm a risk taker person and I am taking risk for a new challenge in my life. But, that is not what I really want for myself.

A year has gone and time running very fast. In a year the Almighty continue to show me His faithfulness and mercy. There are new every morning. Okay, sometimes we are telling ourselves that my life is mine and God does not exist. But, as we go deeper it's hard to denying that He is truly there. And sometimes, that stupid famous question come again and I always compare myself to my non christian friend how easy their life are. Last time during youth age, it's easy to sing and accept that 'God is the strenght of my heart' but now it's more easy to question Him than to proclaim Him rite? Now, I realise that the more I question, I'm not satisfied with the things I have and the more I think about facts (rather than FAITH) actually made me become self-centre. Life is all about me, me and me but where is He in this precious life?

Father, forgive me for being such a selfish son and self-centre person. I can see that in everythings that happen to me it is You who want the best for me. You have a perfect plan for me eventhough I can't see it right now. Help me to let go my ego and to focus on You more rather than what I want for myself. I want to thank you for all the blessing that you've given me this year - stable job, house, church, new friends, new and exciting experince and the lists can go on... and also thank you Father for my family and friends all back home for their never ending support. How I miss them so much Father! Bless in whatever they are doing and never let them go from You. Strengthen me everyday so that I can learn to walk with You daily and let You carry me instead of stubbornly walking by myself. I love You dear Father. Thank you so much. In Jesus name, I say this prayer...AMEN!